Single During the Holidays
In the immortal words of Elvis Presley… “I’ll have a blue Christmas without you.”
When you’re single, the holidays can make you feel pretty lonely. Everywhere you look, you likely see the image of happy couples celebrating the holidays together. In fact, you see couples everywhere. They're in popular ads showing couples shopping for gifts. They're even in holiday cards, social media posts, the Hallmark channel, and more. But let’s face it, life is not a sappy Christmas movie where everyone finds love and lives happily ever after. This year, you’re single.
You may be ok with being single, or you may not be
You may have been single for quite a while. Or, you’ve recently gone through a breakup. Whatever the situation may be for you, not having a partner this time of year is tough. You dread answering well-meaning family members wondering “when are you going to settle down already?” You may also hate going to holiday parties alone. Or it’s possible you long for companionship as you enjoy holiday festivities. Regardless, you feel lonely.
Before we go any further in this blog, I want to make it clear that what you’re going through is normal. In fact, many people experience distress due to being single during the holidays. To be frank, it sucks. So, do not beat yourself up for feeling this way. Instead, read on for some creative ways you can enjoy this time of the year when you’re single and boost your mood.
Get in the spirit and decorate!
Do you ever feel like it’s pointless to decorate your house or apartment when it’s only you there? After all, who else will enjoy it?
That’s pretty normal and on one hand, you’re not wrong. But, it’s okay to decorate for yourself. Plus, you can do anything you like. You don’t have to take your partner's tastes, style, or traditions into account. So let this be the year of you. Decorate how you want and begin feeling festive!
Give back to your community
There’s something so powerful about doing a good deed and helping others. Plus, during the holidays there are plenty of chances to give back or volunteer.
So look for an opportunity to volunteer at a food bank. Adopt a child to shop for, ring the Salvation Army bell, or find something else that gets you excited.
Host a party for friends and family
Being around the people you love is a great way to boost your spirits if you’re feeling anxious or lonely. And it’s even better when you get to do something fun together. So, get to work planning a holiday party or activity for you and your friends!
You may decide to host a traditional holiday party. Or, you do something a bit different! You may have a cookie decorating party. Or, a gingerbread house competition, group dreidel game, Friendsgiving, or caroling outing. Choose something that brings you joy to both plan and host.
Send out your own holiday card as a single person
Who else has a love/hate relationship with holiday cards? I know I do. They offer a literal picture-perfect snapshot of a happy couple or family. This is great to see. But, it magnifies your loneliness and how you don’t have a partner or family member to show off this holiday season.
But here’s the thing, you do not have to be in a relationship or married to send out a holiday card. It is completely okay and even commendable to send one out when you’re single. Even though it may feel a bit uncomfortable, this offers a true snapshot of your life right now. Your worth is not defined by your relationship status, so be proud and send that card if you want to!
Talk to someone about how you are feeling
Bottling up your thoughts and feelings about being single during the holidays isn't healthy. It will not make you feel better. But, talking to others can help release the pain you’re holding inside.
You may confide in a parent or sibling before family get-togethers. Share your feelings and your concerns. For example, you may feel worried about the questions or jabs about being single. If so, you could ask a family member to be your advocate and stand up for you or offer you an out in the conversation.
But, you may now wish to confide in friends or family, or have already tried. If you feel like you would benefit from more support, I encourage you to reach out to an individual relationship therapist.
Individual therapy offers a great outlet to discuss the concerns you have
But, it’s not the only option. In my experience as an Atlanta therapist, being in a group of your peers can offer a unique outlet to learn and grow. Often, my clients who have taken part in my singles group have shared that they’re relieved to talk to people who “actually get what they’re going through.”
If this sounds like something you would be interested in, I strongly encourage you to reach out! Our group will meet twice a month for 90-minutes during the lunch hour. It will be a “closed process group.” This means I will ask all participants to commit to being in this group for four months. This helps to create a space that is familiar and safe for all to discuss their thoughts and feelings.
Some things we will cover in our singles group include:
Worrying about being alone
Fear of “settling”
Feelings of frustration about the dating game
Recovering from past manipulative, abusive, or traumatic relationships
How to keep from losing your identity in a relationship
Questions about sexuality and gender identity
Thoughts and feelings about “red flags.”
Begin Group Therapy or Individual Relationship Counseling in Atlanta, GA
You may be single this season, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the holiday cheer. Our caring therapists would be happy to support you in making the most of the season. We offer support from our Atlanta, GA-based therapy practice. To start your counseling journey, please follow these simple steps:
Click the button below to book a free consultation
Meet with a caring therapist
Start enjoying the holidays!
Other Services Offered With Avalon Psychotherapy
Individual relationship counseling isn't the only service offered at our Atlanta, GA-based practice. We also provide life transitions therapy, teen therapy, young and adult therapy. Our team also offers anxiety treatment, DBT therapy, DBT group therapy, and online therapy in Georgia. For more info, visit more about our practice or visit our blog!